Not always sure where I am going but I am on the way …

Ahh the camino though – what a brilliant guide book it is to life. Every camino has always reminded me of what matters, of who I am, of what I need to be considering and it’s challenged me to reflect deeply. Each long day along the ancient paths an opportunity for the camino to work it’s magic by providing the moments, experiences, people and the possibilities needed for such introspection. Always, I am reminded to meet myself exactly where I am in life, and really – is there any other place we should be?

Hiking the Camino del Norte has been my post covid hiking project after walking the entire Camino Frances in 2018. I started in 2021 and it is now 2026. I am about to publish the 2024 daily stages of my walk as I prepare to leave for Spain later this month to finish this camino project. Excitedly with a tad of trepidation I am yet again off to walk a long walk! I have been walking a number of long walks these past years (Scotland, Italy, Japan) and hopefully they will find their way to this space in the future. But first it is time to finish this project. A hiking project 5 years in the making!

It does feel rather significant that for the past 6 years I have lived my life alongside a yearly or biennial walk along the Camino del Norte. The Norte has been a constant through these years of growing children, menopause, life on the other side of the world, the covid effects, losing myself, rebuilding myself and all of the easy and hard, joyful and not so joyful days that life gives us.

Having just reread my hiking posts of this long hike thus far, the Norte has shown itself to be quite the mentor to me in this time. Ironically, just last weekend I was saying to some friends that I missed having a mentor. Mentors have always been significant in my life and career. Yes, the camino has been my friend and mentor, it has shown me my weaknesses and strengths – all the the while putting exactly what I need in my path. This is probably one of my favourite new thoughts, seeing the camino as a mentor.

You may recall that I left you after my last post in Comillas. It was my first ever #CaminoOver and it was due to injury, a bit of a silly preventable one. But it taught me I am human, that I am not invincible and that I DO need to know myself better. I took those lessons with me and came back to the Camino in 2024 stronger and ready to practice knowing myself better. I’d love it if you’d indulge me and read along as I write up my 2024 walk (albeit 2 years later) as I prepare to leave for my final stretch of the Camino del Norte soon….

If you want a refresh of my walk reflections you can read my stage by stage posts from day one here!

Camino del Norte – Day 14 Santillana del Mar to Comillas

Whatever you do, do it intensely – Hagas lo que hagas, hazlo intensamente.

Date: 4th July, 2023

Section: Santillana del Mar to Comillas

Region: Cantabria

Distance: 23 km

Average temp: 30 degrees

Time walking: 4.5 hours

Ascent: 527m

Decent: 590m

Staying: Comillas

La Huella del Camino – Small double albergue 20 per night in a triple room including breakfast. The room is luck of the draw, there are also larger dorm rooms but they are very modern and have all the facilities.

Recommend, yes ✔️. Clean, modern and comfortable, easy walk into the village and to El Capricho, kind host.

Instagram: Link to extra photos and daily caption.

Today:

It was a tired start to the day today after tossing and turning. I just couldn’t get comfortable on the bunk bed. The mattress wasn’t great and every time I moved the bed squeaked. I was so worried about waking my ‘roomie’ on the top bunk so I’d lay awake for ages worrying about moving to try find a comfortable way to sleep. At some point I just resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to have much sleep.

My feet weren’t hurting to walk on but when I woke I decided that today I would prioritise taking care of myself, not push too hard on my sore toes and I’d acknowledge that I was starting to feel tired, really tired. This feels like a new place for me. I might even need to take a rest day tomorrow. I have walked over 1,000 camino kms in my life and never had I taken a rest day. But I guess the time comes when we (I) have to learn that we (I) can’t simply do things the way we’ve (I’ve) always done them. Oh camino, there you go forcing me to meet myself where I am again.

Despite my toes I had a really beautiful day of walking today. Coincidentally, I end up walking most of the day with my ‘roomie’ from last night who I now know as Alex from Los Angeles. We walk and talk for hours. She tells me about her life and how close she is to her mum even though they don’t live near each other. This hits home a little for me as I struggle with the idea that my children may well live all over the world as a result of us moving them to Europe and staying longer than planned. We didn’t intentionally leave Australia for this long, but here we are and with each year that passes it seems harder to return. We walk a fast pace, maybe too fast because a time comes when my feet are so sore that I realise I need to take a break.

The next cafe I see I decide to take a break for lunch and bid Alex farewell. She is walking further than I am today. I stop at a cafe and bump into Megan and Laurence, of course I do! This is what happens in camino life. It is full of such lovely coincidental moments. The camino accommodation seems to be heavily booked at the moment and I’m glad to already have a bed booked for the evening. One thing I don’t need to think about. For whatever reason there is a bottle neck of pilgrims in the next few towns. Laurence and Megan whats ap ahead to book into where I am staying and they manage to secure the last beds.

My drink arrives with a big glass of ice which I use to ice my toes. I never usually take my shoes off along the way but I felt I needed to today. I am wearing Saloman trail runners and I am realising they may be a little too tight and hard in the toe area for my feet. I hope my toe nails are ok, I’m starting to worry a little. Megan and Laurence have eaten so they started walking again as I settle in for long lunch. Seafood and fresh salad. Just delicious. Oh how I love this about the Camino del Norte. I don’t recall the food being this good along the Camino Frances in 2018.

After a break my feet are rested and I am ok to walk again. Perhaps the ice has numbed my toes. Either way I’m good. As I head, out I pass a church I see Michelle, a French pilgrim I had met days earlier. I comment from across the road about the church. “Meh, I don’t like it” she matter of factly confidently shouts back. And then I wonder, did I even have an opinion?!? And if so, was it an honest, confident opinion or was it an adjustable, peace keeping or a people pleasing one? I think in that moment I could adapt my opinion. Look, I know it’s only a church, and Michelle is from France where they do have beautiful churches, but there was something bigger going on here for me. Once again, I was struck by meeting another woman who seemed to know what she thought and exactly who she was in that moment.

Further along the way I meet up with Laurence and Megan again. We walk the final stretch together into our accommodation. By the time I have arrived in Comillas I have already decided that I will stay an extra night. I will have a rest day tomorrow and see what is going on with my toes. Laurence and I are sharing a triple room with Silvia, a Parisian. Silvia has already stayed a night here. She was walking the camino to be sure she could do it alone. She realised she could. She also realised she no longer wanted to, so she was going home.

After some time Sylvia shared with me that a few years ago she didn’t know much about herself, what she liked, what she didn’t like, she often didn’t even know what she wanted to eat. This was resonating so much with me as I sat there listening – in a body that I didn’t recognise, with a spirit that didn’t know if it belonged here in this European life or home in Australia in our old life, and with toes that were giving me the sinking feeling they were about to end this camino for me.

Laurence and I take a stroll to the beach once we are showered and settled. We take a sit in the square to have a glass of wine with some olives. We talk a lot. I share with her the difficulty I have with sharing rooms and space as I struggle with feeling I need to acknowledge people even when I just want to be left alone and quiet. She tells me ‘you can choose where your energy goes’. This sounds so simple but they are important words for me today. I notice over the next days how she gently does this. Respecting other people but doing her own thing with a calm certainty. I need to work on this agreeableness that I feel I need to have when I’m out in the world. This desire to keep things easy others. I think I have developed it in the past years as I’ve become uncertain of myself and where I am. French women seem to ooze a calm self assuredness. I knew I probably shouldn’t have been out walking on my sore toes this afternoon, but I was being agreeable!

Tonight, I sat at a shared table with a group of women who I will probably never see again. We shared our jars, cans and fresh food to create healthy plates of food. Aaaah this is what and how I love to eat. It was so simple and also just so heart warming. I realise we’re all just at various stages of life, figuring it out, all walking with our own stuff. I have met remarkable women along this camino and the conversations I’ve had with them will be what I remember of this stage of my camino. I’m sure of this.

I didn’t only take one rest day here I took three. So, I wrote a post about my standard first aid kit before this camino. I thought I was a bit of an expert when it came to blisters and the like. It’s now apparent that even seasoned hiking veterans make rookie mistakes. Before leaving for this trip I took myself off for a pedicure to make sure my toenails were in order. ‘Gel polish will be good for your toes, it will keep them strong’ the pedicurist assured me. I wan’t so sure and to be honest I didn’t really think it through. Agreeable!

As it turns out gel polish isn’t good for your toes when you’re going hiking – there’s no give in the toenails with they are so hard. When you’re hiking 20 odd kms a day, up and down mountains, toe nails need give in them. I spent three days at La Huella del Camino soaking said gel polish off and putting ice packs on my bruised toes and nailbeds realising I should have just said ‘no’ to the gel like I wanted to.

Comillas was a sweet place to have this stop though. I visited El Capricho which was brilliant and I enjoyed pottering around town. But like Sylvia I also decided to cut my trip short and to go home. This little town was a turning point. I had a lot of doubts about myself when I left. A lot of questions I wanted to go work out about myself. I was tired and I wondered if writing about and walking the camino was still for me. Maybe I was done. Maybe it was great once, but perhaps it’s no longer for me. Maybe I don’t really know what to offer in this space. In so many areas I was very unsure of myself.

Highlight:

Realising that I need to go home to find my way. It wasn’t here that I would find it.

Ho hum:

Sometimes who we are just runs its course …

* spoiler alert* It would be almost a year before I would come back to this blog. And one day out of the blue my old friend, the camino called. I answered.

Camino del Norte – Day 13 Boo de Piélagos to Santillana del Mar

Tough doesn’t mean you can’t – Difícil no significa imposible.

Date: 3rd July, 2023

Section: Boo de Piélagos to Santillana del Mar

Region: Cantabria

Distance: 20 km

Average temp: 30 degrees

Time walking: 3.5 hours

Ascent: 303m

Decent: 241m

Staying: Santillana del Mar

Albergue El Convento – Room with a bunk bed 16 per night plus  optional 10 Community dinner and  4 breakfast. Shared bathrooms.

Recommend, yes ✔️. Staffed by volunteers. This old convent building is set amongst beautiful grounds and has a calm and relaxing lounge area to chill in. Optional meals but also a kitchen to self cater and washing facilities.

Instagram: Link to extra photos and daily caption.

Today:

Along this camino I have taken many ferry rides to cross over large bodies of water. Today out of Boo de Piélagos it was something different. There is a one stop train ride to cross you over the Ría de Mogro. The train takes you over a rail bridge which is not only dangerous to cross by walking, but is also apparently not legal and you can be fined. The station is just outside the albergue so directly after breakfast I made my way down.

Thankfully, I realised I didn’t have my walking poles before the train came so there was time to promptly scoot back for them. I was walking a little too fast to get my poles according to a fellow pilgrim, ‘slow down, it’s a camino’ he paternally told me – aarghh the pilgrim police. Just.Do.You.Dude. And I’ll do me.

Mostly, I steer clear of the people who have ideas about how everyone should walk or be on a camino. Of course I think we should all be mindful and be courteous to each other, locals and the environment, but I don’t think there is one way to do a camino. I believe there is space for everyone. This what is so beautiful about this long walk, you get to be who you are, adjust as you need, try new things and learn about yourself. No one needs to tell anyone how to be, no thanks. I’m not here for that.

Boy was it good to be back on the official path and to see the yellow arrows again. I will never again take these humble way markers for granted. When you’re tired or unsure they have a knack of popping up, just as you need them to remind you ‘this way pilgrim’. Today, I was mostly walking along country roads. A completely different day to yesterday. Calm weather, none of the extremes. I walked alone most of the day which I enjoyed.

This trip I’m trialing a ‘bum’ bag! It seems I have more things I need to carry these days – glasses for one. I can’t read my guidebook, my phone, menus in the cafes anymore without them. Between the glasses, the hormone patch I’m trialling, yes welcome to midlife and peri menopause I feel like quite a different person to the one that hiked the Camino Frances in 2018, and even the one who started the Camino del Norte in 2021. But this is also why I love the camino, it forces you to see yourself! Even chuckle about such things. The bum bag strap is also excellent to stash the guidebook in.

After arriving at my accommodation for the night, an old convent, it was time to have some lunch and to explore. I went for the pulpo (protein +) and a fresh vegetable salad it did not disappoint. Aside from my breakfasts and snacks along the way I haven’t needed to self cater. There have been healthy community dinners and good food options along the way, plus my accommodation has been so cheap. The medieval town of Santillana del Mar is so beautiful and absolutely deserves its title of ‘one of the most picturesque townsalong the Camino del Norte.

The convent too is beautiful. It has beautiful green, flowery grounds and this induces a relaxing vibe amongst the pilgrims. The Camino del Norte seems to have a more adventurous type of pilgrim. It is nice to be here. I spent this afternoon catching up on washing, working on my blog and chatting to people from all over the world. Annoyingly, the tops of my toes, the nails are really sore. Sore in a way they haven’t been before. I got some cold cans of Aquarius and rather than drink them I used them as ice packs on my toes. This does give them some relief, but I really hope I didn’t damage them yesterday in my long day of crazy off piste walking.

Tonight, I joined the community meal at the albergue and once again it’s super fresh and delicious. I am really enjoying the community meals especially after hiking alone today. It’s nice to sit down to some conversation. Megan is here and I also meet Laurence from France who she has been walking with over the past few days. I am in a shared room but I haven’t met my ‘roomie’ by the time I go to bed for the night. I decided on an early night to rest my feet (toes).

Highlight:

A calm day after the storm yesterday! It certainly was a full on day yesterday to start this camino with.

Ho hum:

It’s good to be able to laugh at ourselves …

Camino del Norte – Day 12 Santander to Boo de Piélagos

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change, but the realist adjusts the sails – El pesimista se queja del viento, el optimista espera que este cambie, pero el realista ajusta las velas.

Date: 2nd July, 2023

Section: Santander to Boo de Piélagos

Region: Cantabria

Distance: 27 km

Average temp: 30 degrees

Time walking: 6 hours

Ascent: 586m

Decent: 565m

Staying: Boo de Piélagos

Albergue Piedad Villa Salva – Private Albergue, private room 50 per night breakfast. Community dinner 10. Dorm would have been 25.

Recommend, yes … absolutely! Big ✔️. Clean, friendly, bed, restaurant and bar on site. Healthy and tasty evening meal.

Instagram: Link to extra photos and daily caption.

Today:

Hola, I’m back! Picking up where I left off last year in Santander. It really is amazing that yet another year has passed. One thing I enjoy about walking this camino in stages is that walking each year puts some space between each walk, and thus allows what has unfolded for me on the trail to come into my life at home. Or not. Sometimes I read my journal or posts from the year before and I think ‘oh, yeah I still haven’t gotten a grip on that’! A bit like this past year. I still haven’t managed to get consistency in my fitness.

As you have probably come to understand about me one of the things I love about the camino are the people you meet, despite often shying away from the masses and enjoying solo walks and rooms. In fact, I would say the characters of my camino stories it is one of the big reasons I come back. If it was simply the landscape I could go on many beautiful hikes in Europe (of which I do hope to do more of when the time is right). So, in light of this I am going to do this trip a little differently and choose mostly shared accommodation.

After reading a few camino blogs I have pre booked the first three nights and have planned my route based on the recommendation of these. I am also going to self cater a little more. In the past year I have made some dietary changes and hope to not lose my rhythm while being away from home. Travel can seriously interfere with habit forming when they aren’t yet solid. Living in Europe for 5 years has meant a lot of travel, which is of course a wonderful privilege, but it also made growing roots in one place and setting into habits a little more challenging.

In Santander I stayed at a private hotel type accommodation. I enjoyed chatting with one of the guests. She was here for a surf camp and after was going to hike in the pyrenees with a backpack and tent. She was 21, full of beautiful big world optimistic views and was off hiking to test her limits. I thought this might an interesting way to think along this camino. While I don’t have an issue with testing my physical limits I do have other limits I allow to get in my way. Maybe I could start to notice these little triggers a little more and become curious about them.

Today I was planning to hike in to Boo de Piélagos, a casual 14 kms from where I was and a shorter day to ease into my camino. My guidebook rated this as one of the dreariest walks of this camino. ‘Flat, paved and little to see’ it says. As mentioned, I haven’t improved my fitness this past year, if anything it has deteriorated. I am in full peri menopause. I hurt in ways I have never experienced. Sometimes if feels like I go from one injury to the next and it feels most days like my motivation and brain power is on some sort of hiatus. When I read over my first stage of this camino two years ago – I wonder where that mountain goat is. Is she still in me? I still feel her.

The guidebook says a there is a much more scenic coastal variant, but it’s long and it’s completely without waymarkers. The host at the hostel is adamant I should take this variant.

“How hard can it be” I thought. Famous last words!

Just stick to the coast line. My soul is still of a mountain goat. Just stick to the coastline … that thought would bite me. The coastal variant was 100% one of the most beautiful scenic walks that I have walked, but OMG it was the extreme of everything: weather, emotions, language, difficulty! Limits were tested. There was a point when I stopped for some lunch (delicious lunch) at which time I considered getting in a taxi. A taxi – ME! The I must walk every step purist. If there were rooms close by I think I would have stopped.

I did at one point need to rely on the tech freak (husband) at home to map me a path to get though and out of some overgrown scrub paths. This image of a shipwreck above that I captured along the way … well it was how I felt when I arrived. Dilapidated. I couldn’t face a dorm room and was so thrilled that I cold upgrade myself for an extra €25 to a private double room with my own bathroom. Relief. Sometimes you just need to be able to spread yourself out. Well I do. My limits had been pushed enough today and this is also a time I want to enjoy. No doubt there are a whole lot of life lessons for me in today, the road less travelled, don’t quit the best was around the corner and all that! And that of course limits when in balance are healthy, but that is for another day to think about.

After showering and composing myself I ventured down to the community dinner. It was perfect and just what I needed. Most of the hikers/pilgrims have been walking for sometime but I felt like I could get in the flow quite easily. I spent most of the dinner chatting with Meghan, an American living in Portugal. She is a very strong, solid character who seems to know herself well and still open to listen to others. I admire that. I didn’t stay long beyond dinner as I wanted to get off my feet and get an early night. I had plans of blogging this camino live on this new camino blog but I was too tried to consider this. An instagram update and some journal notes were all I could muster. Tomorrow I will just follow the paths with the yellow arrows.

Buen camino friends – I’m tired, but I’m back and glad to be.

Highlight:

Aside from the rain, the getting lost and the need to dig in to grit – there were so many moments of feeling amazing and glad to be here, feeling this, seeing this, experiencing this.

Ho hum:

Sometimes we need to change the plan, change the course we are on. Maybe this will be one of my lessons along this walk. And limits, it is ok to have them. Day 1 and already camino deep.